5 Good Reasons Why You Should Never Forgive!
by CHICKMELIONfreelance
"An eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth...."
It is funny how varying faiths, beliefs and view points are not only are familiar with but have at one time or another quoted this as a universal rule. Especially when it benefits them. Perhaps we are missing the point in today’s society and have been since the bible era right up to modern civilization. This is when justice was ministered by the hands of the victim and feuds were considered legitimate legal instruments that were regulated to some degree. It seems that the old adage reinforced the instinct to inflict immediate pain on someone who has wrongs us; however the standards of a more mature society desired to impose a measured response, citing that vindication does not come from extending the cycle of violence . This all seemed to put a damper on the ability for anyone to personally carry out their right to obtain an "eye for an eye."
As unjust as it may seem, vindication has now been placed in the hands of the state who will measure, gauge, argue, measure some more and perhaps after a considerable amount of time; come to a conclusion on the justifiable consequences of the offender’s actions. (Providing it is not dealt out with before hand.) This can be a very frustrating and stressful process for everyone, especially for the victim. Consider their perspective when the judgment is not in line with their core values, sense of injury, or even time line. Indeed this only adds to their own desire for personal retribution. In our society more often than not, the victim themselves are merely left with only forgiveness as a tool to pick up the pieces of their lives. But for those who are finding it hard to do so, fear not... here are 5 good reasons you may want to consider when arguing the validity of non-forgiveness.
#1... You are 10 feet tall and bullet proof.
Yes that is you! You are totally immune to any of the long term side effects and illnesses that stress related situations can bring into one’s life. For the average person however unbrided stress is linked to a lowered immune system, some forms of cancers, heart disease and accounts for two-thirds of family doctor visits; as well as half of the deaths to Americans under 65. (According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.) It has also been implicated in heart, stomach and mental disorders along with more ordinary: high blood pressure, headaches, backaches and cholesterol issues. But you are in total control because you mitigate your stress by eating well, getting lots of physical activity and a good nights sleep. Only because you have a very important vendetta to stay healthy for!
#2...You have nothing better to focus on in your life.
If not for this issue, life would be pretty much boring. You are positive of this! There were no missed opportunities that have escaped your line of vision because your focus was on vengeance. Surely you would have noticed. Your friends, family and co-workers enjoy hearing "the endless story" about how badly you were hurt and how horribly you were wronged. You are winning friends and creating strong allys with your repetitive reinforcement for vengeance. You are a refreshing breath of positive Karma; positive that you will see vengeance on your wrong-doer that is.
#3...You can shoot lasers from your eyes.
Well maybe not but, your vendetta against the offender is certainly ruining their life. They are miserable over this whole situation. Your hate towards them is harming them and not you. After all it is their lives that are put on hold, while you are free to continue yours. They continually think about how they harmed you day in and day out. They are eternally bound in the chains of the negative energy that your unforgiving casts upon them. While you are as free as the wind.
#4... It is what they deserve.
And in this you are absolutely right. Your forgiveness has absolutely nothing to do with you. It is not about you at all. You must be a strong and unmoved soldier in order to bring about relief from the pain, sadness and suffering. It makes perfect sense to endure even more negative ill effects from this situation in order to ensure justice is served! The more you endure... the sweeter the justice. This is certainly going to halt the cycle of violence and negativity dead in it’s tracks. After all your enemy is not someone else’s beloved child, friend, or parent. They have no one who may possibly get hurt by your focus on getting even. The cycle of bitterness stops at your door!
#5... Then the suffering would have been all for nothing.
There is no possible way to be able to gauge any positive growth from with in a negative experience. It has never happened. Trials do not give birth to compassionate, stronger and wiser individuals. In addition, the integrity of true joy and happiness is not realized and appreciated by experiencing terms of sorrow. No! All these foundational concepts that allow us to survive our future trials and tribulations are all born and bread on calm waters. There fore it is futile to attempt counting your blessings in a hurtful situation. After all you have never been an offender yourself and do not understand the blessings given in second chances.
Perhaps forgiveness is the kindest thing you can do for yourself after all. You do deserve to break the chains that bind you to any hurtful situation in order to move on in joy. You deserve joy! The safest and quickest way to free yourself from an enemy and all associated negativity is to forgive. After all the word forgive is Aramic for "untie". No doubt forgiving is a hard thing to do and you may stumble here and there in your efforts. Yet the benefits from maintaining the course can be seen by everyone you influence... and you will be stronger in your mind, body and soul for it. Perhaps your healing will even have a viral effect on those around you, as you demonstrate taking personal responsibility for your own health and well being. What a better legacy to pass onto the people you love in contrast to demonstrating bitterness and negativity.
