When to Blame Yourself if They Lie

There are two things to understand when it comes to children and lying. It is a learned behavior... and hey relax, every child does it one time or another.

No you are not the worst parent on the planet looking at the worst human being on the planet. Most children lie for simple reasons like ; to avoid punishment, to impress others, to boost their own self esteem, to get something they want, or because they have heard their parents lie. Say perhaps they overheard a conversation that involved lying about plans in order to avoid something.

The most common reason for lying particularly among young children is to avoid punishment. Especially if the punishment is severe or the parents have unrealistically high expectations above and beyond what the child can actuary do. It is like the child is being set up, and will feel obliged to handle the situation the best they can given their limited abilities and powerlessness. Call it a creative adaptive response as opposed to lying, and recognize your role in it. There is nothing wrong with admitting to a child that you may have been wrong, it not only models “owning up” to them, but it also eliminates the unrealistic super hero expectations they may hold of you at that age. And it will be far less of a shock when they grow older and discover you are mere human.