6 hints To Help You Find The Guy...
Whose All WRONG For You!
by CHICKMELIONfreelance
Big Mama Thorton sang about them in her blues rendition HOUND DOG... "he ain’t looking for a woman, he’s just looking for a home."
And this can be the least of your worries when hooking up with a man that is all wrong for you. You could find yourself heart broken, facing possible criminal charges, broke and with a ruined credit rating also. He’s a con artist... and there are plenty of them in his "brotherhood." With the advent of the computer age it may seem that there are more of them, or perhaps more people are now in reach. But don’t be fooled into thinking that the computer is the only place to find a con. They are every where! Searching out the popular places which people like to hang out, to find their next victim: the net, church, in the bars, in the mall even....the list goes on and on. You have to keep in mind, "con" comes from the word "confidence" and that is the name of their game. The basics of the scam is to make people believe in them, trust them , fall in love with them and then give them money, or a free roof to live under. More often than not both!
It also warrants mentioning to keep a heads up for woman cons, (or if on the net, men who present themselves as women cons as well, or vise-versa.) Fortunately it is safe to say that the "gig" is pretty much generic who ever is running it. Making it a little easier to spot and then allowing you to let your head take over when your heart may be at a vulnerable point. Keep in mind they are professionals who make a living at what they do. If they are "free" to con you, then they are somewhat of prolific in their game. So don't think you have to be very naive to fall for their scam. They are experienced and gain this experience by often running several scams at the same time. The more scams they run the better they get.
Now if this is not enough to have you concerned, here’s the real scary part to their game. They have been known to gradually lure the victim away from public spots; if the victim is on the web, the con will lure them to email or IM, if they meet face to face, the con will pull the victim away from their contacts: friends, family, co-workers. In these very private settings they will attempt to set the victim up in some way. Take compromising pictures, sometimes involve the victim ( unwittingly or not) in an activity which was questionable, immoral, perhaps even illegal; anything that they can later hold over the victim’s head as blackmail in order to secure a return on their investment. In general, when they feel there is nothing else they can take, or the victim is close to the truth, they will vanish out into the blue. Sometimes a marriage, (more often to more than one victim at a time) is involved in the wake of these scams. So don’t think a marriage proposal is a security against fraud.
Here’s 6 indicators that will give you the heads up if you are face to face with a con:
1. You have just met a saint!
The con may even go as far as claiming that they are God fearing, maybe even boast of their saint like activities such as; involved in charities, working for the disabled, honorably discharged for bravery from the army. Their self descriptions are polished. These are near perfect people, honest, real, loving, caring sincere.... real humble pie qualities. (Oh wait a minute did they just describe you or your vision of the ideal mate?)
They will pitch these as their core values. They will even go as far as to mention the long line up of potential love interests they had to set aside just to accommodate you. You are just that special to them!
Motive: The con’s whole focus is to build trust, in order to disarm suspicions and defence's... you can consider it as baiting the hook.
2.Their life is full of tragedy!
They will spill their guts of their misfortunes, the passing of a much loved family member, an illness struck without warning, or an unfair world bestowed unjust misfortunes upon them because of their goodness and trustworthiness. They will highlight their sense of abandonment and subsequent trust issues that followed. Good thing you are the only one in the whole world that understands them and that they have you in their corner. (Life is worth living again!) Trust and abandonment are no longer an issue with the two of you, are they?
Motive: Create an attachment, so even if you may feel a little uneasy about the cheesy lines, you haven’t the heart to hurt them as well. After all they trust you, and you gave them your word on this...or are you not trustworthy either?
3. You are the best thing that has ever happened to them in their life!
They are full of compliments, and loving promises of show of gratitude. You are such a rare find in this world... a real soul mate! The plans for the future start rolling off of the tongue. They will promise you the world, all that you want to hear: love, marriage, babies, a partnership, travel... "babe you can have it all"; because aside from being a saint, they have the Midas touch and were successful until their luck turned. You are just the good luck charm they need to be on top of the world again. Would you care to join them? (Why not! It’s going to be on your dime anyway!)
Motive: To create ties that bind. By involving you in their dreams, you are more likely to loosen the purse strings.
4. Caught up in a whirlwind of true love!
They will quickly declare that they have fallen in love. Hard and fast! You have made such a big change in their life. Some are even very sexual in nature, with great desires to be loved and cared for. They will promise to fulfill your every desire. The time they will invest in you depends in how much they perceive they can get from you, (or how fast you catch on to their game.) Don’t be fooled, the time spent with you is well invested, they will be so attentive to every word you tell them, so interested in you... solely for the purposes of extracting vital information for strategies and opportunities. It will all be coming at you so fast, you barely have time to think!
Motive: The goal of the con is to move fast, to be in and out before the dust settles and suspicions start to form!
5.The con is on!
After establishing trust, romance, and desire the con will slide in a mention of a need (usually monetary.) There will always be a good reason for it. They certainly don’t want to trouble you, but have no choice. After all who can a person turn to if not the love of their lives? Perhaps asmall loan is necessary until a check clears , or a family emergency suddenly arises, which they are not prepared for and really need not only your sympathy but help. If you hum and hesitate there will be accusations that perhaps you don’t quite love them after all, or believe them. How can the two of you build a future on that? They may even offer a contract for assurity. (After all they won’t cheat you once is down on paper, thieves have morals too!)
Motive: As much as it hurts, this is the only reason he is in your life, and the quality of a person you really are is not going to save you now. He has no conscience.
6. Oh My God... who was this masked man?
Even though they polish their personality traits things don't add up. Words don’t suit actions. Vocabulary don’t suit profession. And then there’s that knock off Rolex. If he’s running a few scams at the same time, he will eventually slip up just trying to keep you all straight in his head. When you are asked about him, you will not be able to provide details. He is in between everything: homes , jobs, relationships. Tacking him down to anything will be next to impossible. Though he has your phone number, his is displayed as restricted on your phone. You never thought of it before, he was so on top of staying in touch you never needed to call him. Yes! He has a lot of information on you...and yet you have none on him!
Motive: There may well be a police report filed in the future, and he wants to live to con another day!
Ladies keep you eyes open, listen to that little nagging voice called "instinct" and check things out. He will give tid bits of information, if not ask for some! How many of the indicators above does your potential heart throb actually fall under? Think about it. Because that is your ace in the hole, he is expecting you to run with your heart and not think too much until it is too late. By then he’s long gone. In this case an ounce of prevention might be the only thing between you and the one who is conning you.
