The Cyber Kiss-off
By CHICKMELIONfreelance
First there was speed dating now there’s high speed dating....
You have to admit it, social networks have change the face of dating and with a whole new game comes the need for a whole new game plan. The lack of being "eye to eye" has it’s pros and cons though. Where you used to be able to discern the intents of a person by body language and the inflection in the voice, you now will be paying attention to words. What is written, or even what is not written.
The playing field does levels it's self off though, what you loose in familiar tactics you gain in insight to the core of the individual’s true nature. That is what the anonymity of screen to screen interaction provides for you. Think about it,. in meeting an individual eye to eye they are on their best behavior and can hold it probably for a period of time, but their true colors show when they are able to hide behind a screen. They feel uninhibited and free to say and do things they would never have the courage to say or do face to face. And it is those little nuances that you can use to sift through to find the gold among the grit.
Catch phrases are a good indication of insincerity. And it won't take to long to pick up on them either, because if the words were ever said out loud it would reek of "corny." Seriously who would ever tell anyone face to face that they loved them on the first meeting? Look for "real" conversations. If it is not something that would normally be said face to face, it is a good chance that the words are empty and lacking in sincerity, just as the one who delivered them.
Look for what is not being said as well. Sometimes that speaks even louder than words. You know what it is like when you first meet someone? There are natural curiosities about the person we are meeting. like: "what do you do?" When someone is dancing around the bush there has got to be a good reason. It will seem odd or you might feel somewhat spurned that they are not seemingly interested in you. Don’t be! Questions go two ways, what they are avoiding asking you, is what they themselves are trying to avoid being asked.
Time is always the best keeper of score. Don't leap in feet first. Be cool, sit back, but be open, honest and non committal until you have fully assessed who it is before you. Let it all play out. No one can hold their game face forever and don’t be shy about asking the direct questions. If they get offended by it, there’s a problem, best get your problems out on the table sooner than later. Be a good listener too and while you are listening, watch for inconsistencies.
The bottom line is that ultimately you have to respect and love yourself. When you do, you are more able to set guidelines and standards of what you will accept from others and will more likely not to rush into situations where you might get hurt whether in cyber space or face to face.
